“Parents teach children discipline for two different, indeed diametrically opposed reasons: to render the child submissive to them and to make him independent of them. Only a self disciplined person can be obedient; and only such a person can be autonomous.”
― Thomas Stephen Szasz
With differential views about child discipline being order of the day, the words of Playmore ring loud and clear on how team effort of both parents can lead to effective disciplining of kids. So what do you do to tackle poor behavior, arrogance and bad show of etiquette? Top of the chart says “Tag Team”!!!
To set consistent standards and avoid mixed up messages from running across, it becomes
important to create a united front. It is also crucial to acknowledge and accept the differences in your preferences, priorities, or temperament, and closely align thinking patterns among you to introduce correct behavior in kids.
Sorting out disagreements in private
Be on the same side of the court and echo the same words and methods of correction. Concurring with each other’s idea of inculcating the right manners and making sure that they are implemented, works better than nurturing grounds of disagreement which allows scope for letting kids play parents against each other. Agree to disagree and sort out differences-but in private!
You as a parent should not fail to adhere to defined regulations, routines and rules or keep making frequent alterations to suit your individual needs. Consistent strategies to combat predictable behavior and issues, leads to effective solutions and prevents parents from being caught off guard.
Some parent use the ‘time out’ as an effective strategy to give their children time to think about their behavior, about what wrong they have done and what they need to change. This can be for yourself or the child, in separate places or in the same room. The duration of the time-out should also be stated beforehand.
Learning to buy time
If you get to hear complains about how your partner has dealt with a specific disciplinary issue, be careful not to jump to conclusions or respond with an opinion immediately. Simply stating that “we shall discuss it and let you know later”, showcases unity and buys you time to think over the matter and take steps accordingly.
Avoiding the “Divide and Conquer” game plan
It is quite common for children to approach Dad when Mom says “No”. It is important to make it absolutely clear that they cannot approach and appeal to the other parent to try their luck or play the divide-and-conquer strategy. The underlying rule at home should be, “When either of us says no, it’s NO!”
Types of discipline need to fit with your child’s age, temperament and needs. This means you may choose to use different ways for each child within your family or as they grow up.